Not quite Cobra Kia

Its been 41 years since Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio) moved to a new city, fell in love with the beautiful Elizabeth Shue, had his backside kicked while dressed as a shower, before learning a few moves of Karate by simply doing a bit of “wax on and wax off”, thanks to a chance encounter with the loveable Mr Miyagi (Pat Morita) and then winning against all the odds of a “No Mercy” shout at the local competition.

Its easy to forget just how huge The Karate Kid was at the box-office, spawning three sequels, a remake and then the juggernaut that was the Cobra Kia TV show that was loved and watched by millions before it ended triumphantly last year. Somehow the story did not end there as we now get a continuation with a sixth film in the franchise, an odd hybrid that cleverly recons events of the original films by stating the the 2010 remake is part of the film franchise and that Han (Jackie Chan) and Mr Miyagi were friends as, deep breath – a Miyagi ancestor once brought the Okinawan karate to China and that the styles of Miyagi and Han are “two branches of one tree.” – yep, well that fills the backstory up quite easily.

Once you get past that exposition dump the film settles into the typical blue-print you’d now expect from a Karate Kid film. Yet another teen this time Li Fong (an excellent Ben Wang) moves to New York from Beijing, having trained at a Kung Fu school led by Han, only to fall for the beautiful Mia (Sadie Stanley), whose ex boyfriend just happens to be the local bully and also the hard nut of Karate and it just happens to be a competition around the corner. Oh and guess what? There is this special karate move that was taught to Li by his brother who sadly passed away in a fight in which Li can’t master yet – or is he just saving it for grand finale – what do you think?

LEGENDS is basically an A-Z blueprint of how to write and create a Karate Kid movie that has plot inconsistencies that will frustrate. For instance, Li gets easily picked on at his new school and fails to even make a mark on the local bullies, but then a few scenes later is swinging from wall to wall, beating up grown up men like a black bet expert, as he saves Mia’s father Victor (Joshua Jackson) from the local loan sharks. Oddly we then get a sub-plot of Victor being a former boxer who gave it all up for his daughter who want’s one last fight to gain money to pay off his debts and wants Li to train him.

And, that is what we get – odd scenes of a kid training a grown up in the art of Kung Fu so that he can fight in a boxing match. But you know, what? Its all dumb nonsense but still somewhat watchable, lacking the warmth and heart of the original, but with its brief running time, you’ll never feel bored even though you’ll be guessing every sign posted moment.

Why Macchio is even in this film is anyone’s guess. Not showing up until the last half hour with Han asking for help in the training of Li. Daniel doesn’t really do anything but squabble with Han and gets into a minor fight himself, not really offering any of the classic Miyagi training and possibly only involved to make sure that fans of old jump on-board as this could easily have just been a sequel to the remake than trying to establish a shared universe.

In fact the only time this showed a sparkle of originality is when it dipped its toes into the world of Cobra Kia, when a familiar face showed up, cracking jokes about a pizza that is way too little and much to late to really get excited about. Instead we are left with a tale that’s basically been told now three times in a six-film franchise, that may appeal to the TIKTOK generation of newbies, but for us fans who have shared the journey since 1984. perhaps a game of chopsticks and a fly would have been more fun because as the great and much missed man said himself “Man who catches a fly with chopstick, accomplish anything.”….

2 Hatchets out of 5